#i do not have that kind of fucking money dude
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Can you and your followers who apparently "dont care about the geopolitical impact!! When fleeing Fascism!!" . like explain. how you moving to thailand . isn't gentrification.
sure dude.
here's the deal: im in the "woodchipper that kills you and all the people you love" country that has "dead trannies" as a pretty big priority among most of the higherups at the moment.
additionally, my girlfriend is a black trans woman, one of the most violently oppressed demographics on earth, and ALL of the money, 100% of it, that i am making off of streaming at the moment is going directly into the bank account dedicated to getting HER out of the country first.
thailand was chosen specifically because it is one of the few countries that aren't anti-black that are also possible for us to move to.
i wonder how much you have actually done research on thailand before telling me about how terrible our immigration there would be. i wonder, do you know what the annual cashflow in that country is? could you tell me what percentage of its income is reliant on agriculture, vs its tourism industry, vs its technology exports, to actually assess what "gentrification" i'd perpetrate by moving there, holding my remote job, and contributing to the local economy? have you considered the ratio of global refugees that already work themselves through its borders annually?
i dont think you have done that research. but i have. that's why im going there. because it's my best choice. and i know not everyone has that choice right now, and that is not something that i feel nothing about. obviously. but right now my priority is funneling myself and my loved ones to safety, and saying "im sorry" every time i bring it up is simply not an efficient use of my time. im sorry that you don't care to think about it enough to not see me as a villain in doing so.
you can feel any way you like about all of this, im still going to keep asking the people who give a fuck for their support, grateful for every kind word or dollar that is sent our way.
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guys little vent i am in between jobs rn i technically have one lined up but the manager will not give me a first day he is never at the store and none of the employees will give me his number they all keep saying they'll tell him and then i never hear anything. i am also having to move out of the house i live in by the end of this month (dec 2023) because all my other roommates are moving out. fucked up thing is they all had a place lined up before they even told me and they all make way more money than me, i found out very end of november too. i keep looking at places and looking into leads but everything is either way too expensive for the wage im used to (not even taking into account the fact that i dont have a job) or the roommates are not at all the demographic i would want to live with. im a 20 year old 5'2" queer afab with facial piercings i do NOT want to live with dudebros in their late 20s/30s who make three times as much as me . i cant even turn to my family they are the reason i had to move out when i wasnt ready because they had been threatening to kick me out for 6 full months before i finally found a place. my mom keeps saying i can leave my stuff at her house if i cant find a place because she doesnt want all my shit sitting in some friend-of-a-friends garage or some shit but she won't offer to let me stay over for a bit until i find a good place again. she's the reason i had to leave when i wasnt ready and didn't have a savings built up and ended up in a house where id come home to 2 of my 3 roommates doing blow in the living room. one of my roommates started bringing a felon into the house after he contacted her immediately after finishing his 6 year sentence because they were dating up until then (when she was 15 and he was 19) . he's friends with people who r in prison for murder. my other roommate constantly bringing home men 10-15 years older than her from the bar until she got a sugar daddy who she ultimately ended things with after he had a foursome with some hookers in vegas while SHE WAS THERE. and then he started sending bouquets to the house bc of course he knows where we live. but even then all that was better than living with my parents bc they were fucking insane. anyways i don't have a place to live next month LMAO and i have 800 bucks to last me til my paycheck that i have no idea when im getting seeing as i got my last paycheck from my old job one week ago today and have not worked a day since bc my new job will not schedule me . OH MY GOD AND ITS MY BOYFRIEND AND MY FIRST XMAS TKGETHER AND I CANT REALLY GET HIM ANYTHING BC I HAVE TO BE SO CAREFUL WITH MY MONEY AND ITS TEARING ME APART I LITERALLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
#vent#lmao hey guys just moemoe things 😁#i promise i'm not lying about this stuff this kind of shit always happens to me i always say i could not make this shit up if i tried bc i#literally don't have enough creativity for this#idk what to do i guess ill just sell some shit on my instagram story and keep hoping SOMEONE wants me to be their roommate#oh my god also another huge problem : everyone wants first month/last month rent AND a deposit#i do not have that kind of fucking money dude#when i tell u i do not have a single cent saved bc i've been fighting for my life every paycheck since i moved out#oh my gof i literally don't know how things could get any worse#<- hopefully i don't regret saying that lol
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okay ill bite why do u hate kaoru sakuraba sidem aside from the fact that they went from hokuto as a main blue to downgrade to kaoru. to make it less awkward that I’m asking abt sidem on ur osomatsu side blog, what sidem idols would u assign to each matsu ?
i think sideM should collab w osomatsu-san and put them all in Beit so they can all get JOBS!!!!!!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/bce42777df4a04e2fa890bd9b276ef33/8efe77588bd9ed13-83/s400x600/35bdc974a9ac117ee73318a13bf6e3671bbca546.webp)
anyways i hate kaoru from idolmaster sideM. i need all my osomatsu-san side blog followers to know that i hate this man. "i need a lot of money fast to pursue an extremely niche medical research track, which is why i quit my stable and high paying job as a surgeon to become an idol while having no soft skills, physical strength or stamina, or interest in getting along with people" are you Stupid??
he's not even using his idol clout to spread awareness of the rare disease he's trying to cure (like SEM does) so it can secure funding, he sees it 100% as a job and refuses to have fun, he is actively unpleasant and uncooperative in every interaction with his coworkers because he's trying to "rise to the top". it seems like the only thing he has going for him are his looks and that he kind of liked to sing when he was a kid. why not become a model at that point when you have the personality of a wet tree trunk. or better yet why not STAY A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!!!
also, i don't like meganes, so write that down.
#context for oomfiematsus: idolmaster sideM's gimmick is that all the idols were other things before becoming idols#Beit is the unit whose gimmick is that all their members have part time jobs (baito)#others are like. lawyer -> idol; pilot -> idol; pianist -> idol; rakugoka -> idol; etc#finding out the backstories/previous lives of these idols is like the main appeal of this branch#a lot of times it's like trauma and stuff that causes them to switch careers. like there's a pair of twins who were former soccer pros#but one suffers a career-ending injury and it's sad. and theyre like well we were pretty good at PR and stuff though so let's be idols#(the other twin follows him because yknow twinsies <3 cant be apart)#and this guy is in the main unit so you meet him and he's just a fucking dick the whole time and he just seems to fucking hate being an ido#so the whole time youre like what's this guy's deal#(note i experienced this through the anime cuz all the games are EOS lol)#and then like 3/4ths into the anime in you finally get his backstory#and it's that his sister died of a very rare disease so he needs money to fund research to find the cure but no one will fund it#but instead of staying a doctor he decides the best way to do this is to BECOME AN IDOL?!!!?!?#like sure i bet the top idols do make more than an average surgeon? but it's like do you want a .01% chance to make a $2 million salary#or an 100% chance to make a $300k salary BECAUSE YOURE ALREADY A SURGEON!!!!#and it'd be another thing if he was like. kinda having fun with it. kinda being jovial#like there's literally another guy in the teacher unit who became an idol for the exact same reason (heard it was lucrative)#but then after he finds out being an idol actually isnt all that much cash#so he just decides to have fun being an idol instead!!!!#this guy NEVER GETS THERE. he's always a SERIOUS RUDE STICK IN THE MUD who is NEVER FUN TO BE AROUND BECAUSE HE'S LIKE#I'm Here For Work. I'm Here To Be The Best Idol. I Don't Want To Make Friends#LIKE GET REEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL DUDE YOUR COWORKERS ARE 10 YEAR OLDS IN ANIMAL COSTUMES AND 30 YEAR OLD MEN IN PINK TIGHTS.#anyways everyone likes him i guess he's supposed to be the “cold guy eventually opens his heart” kind of guy but he has always just come of#as very annoying to me. and also DUMB AS FUCK i cannot stress enough how STUPID OF A CAREER CHOICE THIS WAS#so i cant take him seriously when they try to play him up as this cool all-knowing guy when he's the STUPIDEST PERSON AT THIS COMPANY#INCLUDING THE 9 YEAR OLDS
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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Y’all is Hollow Knight hard or do I just suck because oh my god??
#not gonna inflict my ramblings onto someone else’s post so just making a text post for myself#but oh my god#what the fuck?#maybe I’m not a hardcore metroidvania fan but I like them well enough#do I suck that badly at games now?? am I old to the point that my hands can’t do this shit????#did I just somehow fuck myself at some point???#because wow this feels kind of sadistic????#and not even in the fun kind of way?????#like I think I’d rather submit myself to fear and hunger again rather than continue where I am now in hk#idk maybe I’m missing something#but I just got wall jump and was so happy until I fell down to where you can challenge those mantis dudes#got myself out of there but then as I was exploring northwest I keep dying and reviving from the fucking bouncy balls over water#and the normal mantis mobs are also kicking my ass?#and dont even get me started on the weird tentacley nuclear bomb mushroom things those are just bullshit#AND THEN AS I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME EXPLORING HEADING TOWARDS A SAVE BENCH I GET DROPPED INTO DEEPNEST??????#WHAT KIND OF JUMPSCARE BULLSHIT??????????#AND THE FUCKING COCKROACHES THAT NEVER SEEM TO STOP SPAWNING KILL ME#and then I see how fucking far back I’ve been dropped in the corner of fungal wastes#and I try jumping through the fucking bouncy balls again#and I die and lose my money#I can’t fucking do this shit anymore y’all holy fucking shit#the number of times I’ve died and restarted from that fucking fungal wastes bench I am so sick of it 💀#legit I think this is the first time I’ve rage quit a game#it’s been a while since a game’s actually made me this angry I want to fucking throw something 😂#the willpower and self control I needed to not chuck my pro controller across the room…#if I didn’t have neighbors and a unit below me I’d be throwing shit for sure though#but instead I must smack pillows against my mattress in a rage 😂#I think I hate the ‘go back to where you died to get back your money’ punishment system… like legit I actually really really hate it.#I do think the game is fun and I know I’ll probably quickly gain the money… but it feels like the game’s telling me I fucking suck lmao#suffice to say I will not be playing any more hollow knight for the foreseeable future 💀
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do u give momey 2 homeless ppl?????
Whenever I can. I once took my last $20 out of the bank so a stranded woman could go make change to take the bus. My dad lived on the streets for years, and my family has been almost homeless countless times.
I don't care where that money is going, if I can make the hell of living on the street even slightly better, I will.
#like if you can't afford to give money than I get that and I don't hold that against you at all#but if you're the type who can but *won't* because ''what if they spend it on drugs?'' you suck so fucking bad#I once took money out for a homeless man sleeping in the bank specifically so he could go buy cigarettes#dude was living in the lobby of a bank#his life's hard enough he can have his fucking cigarettes#genuinely what kind of question is this#''do you give a fuck about other people?'' that's what you just asked
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well talking to my mom went well (I just told her I’m really unsure rn. Her first response was ‘oh well what’s the rush, ur not dating rn are u?’ Which. What does that have to do with gender??? It made me stop and laugh at least lmao). Also she suggested I just keep the clothes in a box or smth for a month or two so that if I change my mind abt dresses and skirts I don’t throw them out and regret it. Which was an awesome suggestion bc quite frankly I’m very emotionally attached to my clothes. A lot of the dresses are real vintage or actually worth a lot too and very unique and…a part of me wants to try and rework them and sew them into either shirts or pants bc they’d fuck severely but 1. I don’t have a sewing machine 2. I…feel weird about modifying such old clothes. It feels kind of bad…like what if I fuck them up bc lack of sewing experience!! I’ve only rly done basic mending (…and I guess that Ichigo cosplay years ago but even that didn’t turn out great bc it was my first project. aaa)
#sanchoyorambles#this post is 90% anxiety oops#also what if I am a dude. and I have to tell my dad. nightmarish#coming out to him was hard enough the first time 😭 it’s so awkwardddd#….I kind of want to look into t but I’m broke and also scared of needles#am I …a guy….??#I don’t know. we r looking into it. 🫣#fuck I already didn’t like my name so much so I’ve been playing w the idea of legally changing it for a year or so anyway#I….might be looking at baby names websites#fuck. fuck I just changed my art blog insta YouTube AND neocities to lynnscribbles tho!!!! the fucking work to change everything I swear#rolls around in agony#Lynn is neutral enough maybe 😭#I knowwww doing it legally cost money tooooo 💀 can things be free for me bc I’m swag. or .#like ofc these are all hypotheticals but umm. hm#🫣……🕴️#if…I do end up being a guy it’ll still be in a pretty fem way like let’s be real#my level of whimsy won’t change . I will be masc like ken from barbie. or like rococo dandies . etc. still pretty pastel an frilly#…so still gnc…ashsjfkckn#again I’m still not entirely sure I’m just testing things out. in the gender trying room so to speak#I AM confused a bit bc I thought I was a lesbian but really how much I love women is my only tie to lesbianism#so I might think abt that label too which feels bittersweet#I love the flag I have it on several jackets as pins and patches!!!#closest second label might just be queer but I dunno …will need to reflect#if it doesn’t fit anymore after I think on it I’ll Marie Kondo it and thank it for its time before replacing it I guess 😭
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This guy sitting here saying ooh I’ll finish my coffee in ten min and then go take a shower well it’s been fifteen minutes bitch and my Lyft is coming in thirty with or without you.
Don’t fuckin sigh like this is stressful for you when I remind you that you need to start getting ready to go five minutes ago bitch I’m the one goin to the doctor to see if there’s something severely wrong with my goddam internal organs, you’re just here for support stop making me stressed because you’re eternally late and even more inifinitely uncaring that this messes shit up for other people
#rant#sorry folks just deeply stressed#love my dad but but honestly a bit furious right now#he always pulls this shit#always late and doesn’t give a damn but right now it’s fuckin important#not just for support but also bc I frankly don’t really know about everything like insurance or doctor visits as an adult yet#given that I became one during the pandemic era kind of#and also he’s the one with the healthcare and without it I’m screwed and def do not have enough money to pay#given that I live in#America#with America’s#health care system#and bitch this isn’t an#adhd mood#I’ve got that too#and I’ve been ready since ten this morning#you just give less of a shit about being ready for my possibly deeply serious doctors appointment#than about drinking your fucking coffee#fuck dude#goddamn
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can i just say tho. the washing machine broke on friday (altho i didnt talk to my guardian until sunday tbh cus i froze up a lil from the stress) anyways guardian went to the store for me on monday, i would gladly have gone too but i dont think he felt it was neccessary, and ordered a new one of the exact same type (which is nice,its a good machine and it didnt break from techincal fault) and i was told theyd "call me later this week" but its friday already and its 1 pm and they still havent called and im running out of clothes and its stressing me out
like i still have enough clothes and underwear for the weekend ig, but im really hoping itll be there like. tuesday latest. after that i have to call grandma and ask to borrow her machine.
#like as dumb as it sounds if one thing i need to clean stuff with is missing i feel like i cant clean anything else at all#cant tidy my room without mops. cant do dishes without a clean towel to put them on so they dry faster. idfk.#there are obvious workarounds but my brain is constantly working overtime pre-planning how to do things im nowhere near getting started on#ngl i feel like every day is dedicated to cleaning and not much else. despite not cleaning every day for various reasons.#idk i mean. i wish i was better at cleaning but at the same time. i have so much shit to clean. where the fuck do i even start.#its been like 4 months and i still dont have the apartment to a decent standard and its kind of awful to deal w ngl#like i would love to get started but things always get in the way. sometimes im missing cleaning tools or soaps and i need to wait#until i get oney to buy them. other times i just dont have the time or motivation and cant find it anywhere. or suddenly i have work or the#theres a holiday or something breaks or i do a lot of stuff but then i stop cus im tired and i dont start again. fuck dude idk its always#something. and i know i should just be taking it step by step but i want it fixed NOW. i want it all done at once.#anyways. once i get the machine and i get money i can buy stuff i need and hopefully get atleast started. dedicate a day to laundry#and dishes and trying to deal w as much of the mess as physically possible. and get some takeout instead of cooking tbh.#like i NEED this shit cleaned before february im getting a couch in feb and if i cant put it anywhere like. thatd kinda suck ass#but also like everythings just gonna stay messy if i dont clean either and that sucks too. im so tired of it.#talkies
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can't believe i started to have a psychotic episode at work today wtf !!!!
#my shift was ending and. i explained to my coworker whos pretty kind and understanding about it#but the amount of stress i'm under right now is a LOT!!#i'm pretty sure i have very bad endometriosis so i am calling the fucking doctor tomorrow!!!!!!! ive put off this appointment for ~1 year#which is weird to think about that doesn't sound right.....#WAIT ITS NOT ITS ~2 YEARS#dude. i honestly dont remember january-april of last year. i was like actually hibernating.#except for like my birthday and my brothers birthday.#i know i watched all of adventure time and bojack horseman for the first time and played stardew valley but thats literally it#LOL still having the episode btw i'm like fully aware and will ask for help when needed but i'm good rn 👍#i hope i dont feel like this tomorrow since i have work and i would like the money since idk how much my rent is about to go up#the landlord didnt even show up today like she said she would. our leade is thru february at least so theres time still#lease*#but hey if i can't make it to work tomorrow i can at least pick up my new glasses (which is another appointment i put off for 2 years LOLOL#im not a fan of getting up before 11am but being awake AND off work during doctors office hours is lovely for making an appointment yippie!#btw still gonna post this bc i love sharing my thoughts on my tumblr like its a diary. and none of u will even be able to feed my delusions#so its safe to do so at least <3
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thinking about the fucking cat boy
#random thoughts#hell#i have very specific ideas on how husk became an overlord#okay. he didn't get to where he was through like. connections. because he had no connections at first#i think he started off doing small time bets and playing games against individuals for like. money and objects. alcohol and stuff#the first time someone bet their own soul against him was probably REALLY fucked up for him#definitely some kind of 'it was me or him' mentality going on#eventually he became desensitized to it and it just became business#once he got to the point where people were actually noticing him people started trying to make connections with him#these connections disappeared after alastor got his soul btw. dude lost ALL his friends lol#once he started gaming with big-time actors they started betting souls and property but also favors#which is how he got the property which housed his casino#at this point he mostly did private games with big clients#i think alastor's game was the first time he bet his soul because it was the first time he had nothing else to lose#as in everything else was gone and he could bet nothing but himself#and once again he was powerless
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ok trying to figure out more plot stuff and GENUINELY how the fuck are they going to escape the evil science facility
#blitesf#SO BASICALLY#the main idea was their outside help (frida) but i have since decided that she's more of a 'go thru the proper channels' kind of person#but maybe she changes and has character development?? still even then. what the fuck are they gonna do when they get out#cuz. i gotta say. they don't exactly look normal (also april needs fresh water or she will fucking die) and even if they find somewhere.#where the FUCK are they getting the money from#but yea. i think i've figured out the actual escape attempt but if anyone knows anywhere convenient for 6 teenage mutants to stay#in or around new mexico pls help. cuz idk dude.#actually it might be set in virginia. but yeah. i need to use google earth for this shit.#one other idea i had was that the procedure becomes publicly available so everyone just finds it normal but that doesn't make much sense#this is my oc story in case you were wondering. i am not a teenage mutant in an evil science facility
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grumble grumble. kind of want to call out for work, im deadass too depressed for this shit rn
#fool's monologue#everything feels wrong world sucks my body is betraying me and i kinda dont wanna have to deal with shitass ppl on a wednesday#srry for complaining so much recently ik im doing it a lot but at the same time man fuck. shit sucks. no shit fucking sucks#god i cant i wont like i need the money but im not even at work yet and im feeling angry and tense. dude one of these days im actually goin#to explode#anyhow whatever ill be fine im justt... too much on my mind and im being overly negative about everything. i just gotta close my eyes and#breathe and let the time pass me by and hope#im just kind of. i really dont wanna do any of it anymore like whatever that means idk but im sticking around anyway bc i know i have to#whatever whatever whatever. gotta suck it up and move#mfw i keep lying to my doctors and telling them im managing symptoms but i am not im just swallowing it up again#like its gonnabe fine ergh fuck. right. whatever. like im. scrambled thoughts and feelings thats all itll be im gonna jump over this im jus#man who fucking cares im gonna get over this in a few hours idgaf.#its all gonna be Ayeeeeeeeee okay
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having to restrain from saying anything when my dad dares to say that men get paid LESS than women. in what world. are you out of your fucking mind old man.
#ow.err#IN WHAT WORLD ARE MEN PAID LESS THAN WOMEN.#like. i shouldnt be surprised he said that bc he watched and/rew t/ate and jo/e rog/an so like. of fucking course he'd think that.#but like dude. you have no idea what youre talking about.#and there is NO WAY im gonna even try to tell him otherwise bc he is. loud. yk.#im just gonna. leave that there. bc its not my responsibility to 'fix' my parents as much as id love to try.#its just not my responsibility. and itll prob just end in me getting screamed at anyways since they wont listen to me or anything i say#cuz im still a kid in their eyes ! ! ! !!!! ! ! so cool ! ! ! ! ! !#almost 20. father doesnt think i know how to wake myself up w/o being woken up by someone else.#SO INSULTING BTW. i always get up on time. no matter what. nearly 20 and he thinks im a fking child still#both my mom and dad do but my dad does it in an 'underestimating' me way and my mom does it in a 'tries to overly coddle me' way#you know? i dunno. i dunno. i wanna move out but money is so fked rn. and idk how to do like. anything. so im just...#gonna do my classes and try to get a nice job and save up for awhile before i actually move out to my own place#im also kind of scared bc idk if ill have the. will to care for myself once i move out. like im worried ill just let myself die#sso. things to. work on before i get out of here i guess. but the thing is this environment will not let me heal. ahhh !!!!!!!!!#the only way out is through!!! through and scared!!!!!!!!!!!! tmrw marks the start of my life potentially starting to change. for the bette#but still changing. and oh man. im very nervous. its scary#cuz like. i didnt think id live past like 12 ??? so to be almost 20 and very behind on 'adult things' is. scary?daunting?#it all almost feels unreal. like im reaching a part of my life i never thought id actually reach. it feels like ive been living on#borrowed time since 12 so now im like. damn i have to live dont i. i have to actively make this life worth living now#some days i still worry itll be my last but ... im just gonna try to take it one step at a time. its all i can do.#be as prepared as i can. and take it one step at a time. i clutch onto the hope that my life will get better#and i clutch onto it with an iron grip. because damn it. it has to get better than this. it has to.#wow this got derailed. oh well my poast my rules.
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its crazy how dehumanizing low paying customer sevice/retail jobs can be
#not even the amt of work compared to the low pay although thats kinda inherently dehumanizing#its like. the way some customers treat you. like youre just some thing at their whim not a person who may be flawed or takes time for stuff#like i think of people just dropping stuff off in front of me or on our counter when we have designated areas for them to put that stuff#or how they will just jump into giving us their phone number for points without preamble or anything#literally the worst and most dehumanizing version of that was the guy who put his stuff at my register and immediately started#rattling off his number before i full processed he was even there like DUDE i am a human person not a fucking robot who does speech to text#i know this one guy who had a thing where this guy and his kid came and when the guy handed my friend the money he kept yanking it out of#his grip over and over to entertain his kid which is. kind of appalling. i dont know what id do if a customer did that to me. holy shit#will delete later im tired
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#this is a good one of these kinds of posts I swear#just wanna do a shoutout to my bestie even though I know he won’t see this#but I love him and feel like hyping him up anyway and don’t wanna make a whole actual post about it and annoy everyone#anyway yesterday I took my car in for an oil change and tune up thing and didn’t know how long it was gonna take so I set up a ride#with bestie back to my mom’s place if it was gonna be a while but then they said it’d only be like an hour and a half or so unless there was#actually something wrong with my car in which case we’d just discuss it and go from there. so bestie picks me up at the car place and I tell#him that and say he doesn’t have to stay and I can just wait there at the place if he’s busy but he says nah he gonna hang with me. asks if#I’m hungry and wanna get lunch and I hadn’t eaten yet so it worked out. went to the good Mexican place in town and order in their drive thru#I ask if he wants me to cash app him some money to cover my share and he very aggressively says ‘oh hell no’ which was honestly adorable and#really sweet. goes on to say ‘girl you know you don’t need to worry about money’ which is also super sweet and makes me feel all weird and#wiggly inside cause I’m not used to people being kind to me in that way or just buying me shit just because. and he’s always doing that kind#of stuff too just paying for my food or sending me money if I pick stuff up for us or whatever. dude got bucks at least good for him. but#yeah anyway so we got the food and then he went to a gas station to get us drinks then parked and ate and hung out with me until my car was#ready to go. even offered me money to cover the cost for the car if I needed anything major done and I could just pay him back little by#little. thankfully car is all good but his sentiment was well taken and much appreciated. gave me a big hug before we parted ways as he#usually does and bro gives the best hugs for real they’re so instantly comforting and you really feel the love they make me so happy. and he#even is gonna help me put together a new desk and chair at my house so I’ll have a place to do schoolwork at home and finally setup my tv in#my room. dude does so much for me and will then thank me just for hanging out with him as if I did anything special at all#this man deserves the whole fucking world and I’d do anything for him. love him so much#so ye that’s my hype post for my boy cause I just had to brag about him somewhere and get my feelings out#personal
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